Alfredo Fettucini

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Alfredo Fettucini is an NPC featured in Sea of Thieves: The Legend of Monkey Island. He originates from the Monkey Island series of video games.

Dialogue

Entering The Fantastic Flying Fettucini Brothers Circus for the first time:

Alfredo

I can't believe what I'm hearing! You are so irresponsible.

Bill

Me? You're the one who insisted upon audience participation! People will only take part if there's a big, flashy prize.

Alfredo

But ten thousand Pieces o' Eight? We don't have that kind of money!

Bill

Would you relax? Nobody is actually going to succeed at this. It's impossible.
They'll try, they'll fall, the audience will laugh and everyone will go home happy.

Alfredo

We don't know that it's impossible! And we can't possibly test it ourselves...

Bill

So we find a volunteer! Stop being such a meat-head.

Alfredo

Fish-head!

Bill

Toady!

Alfredo

Weasel!

Bill

Shush! We have company...

Interacting with either Bill or Alfredo after the argument:

Alfredo

Welcome, come in, come in! Your timing, ooh, could not be better.
How would you like a chance to win a prize—

Bill

A grand prize—

Alfredo

A glorious grand prize—

Bill

Of ten thousand Pieces o' Eight—

Alfredo

Or thereabouts—

Bill

By being the first to try our death-defying—

Alfredo

But perfectly safe—

Bill

Mêlée Island Spectacular!

Alfredo

The latest, greatest creation of the amazing, acrobatic—

Bill

Fabulous, flying, phenomenal—

Alfredo

Fettucini Brothers!

Bill

That's us.

Alfredo

When you're ready to become a superstar, talk to my brother Bill about your costume—

Bill

And my brother Alfredo to go through your routine. We'll be ready when you are!

Speaking to Alfredo after their initial introduction:

Dialogue icon.png

So what do you say? Ready to take on our challenge and win the prize of a lifetime?

 
What is the Mêlée Island Spectacular, exactly?

It's the latest part of our new circus routine, inspired by stories about the Legend of Monkey Island!
We take a volunteer from the audience and put them through a few teensy-weensy challenges to win the grand prize.
It may not make you as famous as the Legend of Monkey Island, but everyone has to start somewhere.

What do I have to do?

Once you're in costume, head to the starting line and ring the bell to begin. Then, you must climb the ladder, cross the tightrope and ring the second bell!
After that, you must leap across the platforms and ring the third bell, then slide down the wire and ring the last bell by that cannon over there.
Then it's time for the grand finale! You must climb into the cannon, launch yourself through all of the rings and land safely in the water! It couldn't be simpler!

What happens if I fall?

You hit the ground, dummy! A few bumps and bruises are a small price to pay for fame and fortune.
We don't expect you to succeed on your first attempt, so you can try as many times as you like.

After successfully performing the Mêlée Island Spectacular:

Bill

And the crowd goes wild!

Alfredo

I told you it wasn't impossible! Now what do we do?

Bill

Er, hey, come over here, prego! We need to talk about your prize...
Now see here. I know we said that the grand prize was ten thousand Pieces o' Eight, but—

Alfredo

But we forget to mention the administration fees!

Bill

We did? ...We did! And the mandatory Tri-Island Entertainment tax—

Alfredo

Cannon maintenance charges—

Bill

Costume cleaning—

Alfredo

Voluntary compulsory contribution to the Mêlée Island Circus Orphans Foundation—

Bill

And freight charges. So taking all that into account—

Alfredo

Your prize totals... four hundred and four Pieces o' Eight. I'm so jealous!

(404 Pieces O' Eight Received)

Speaking to Alfredo after receiving 404 Pieces O' Eight:

Dialogue icon.png

Back for another run of the Mêlée Island Spectacular?

 
What is the Mêlée Island Spectacular, exactly?

It's the latest part of our new circus routine, inspired by stories about the Legend of Monkey Island!
We take a volunteer from the audience and put them through a few teensy-weensy challenges to win the grand prize.
It may not make you as famous as the Legend of Monkey Island, but everyone has to start somewhere.

What do I have to do?

Once you're in costume, head to the starting line and ring the bell to begin. Then, you must climb the ladder, cross the tightrope and ring the second bell!
After that, you must leap across the platforms and ring the third bell, then slide down the wire and ring the last bell by that cannon over there.
Then it's time for the grand finale! You must climb into the cannon, launch yourself through all of the rings and land safely in the water! It couldn't be simpler!

What happens if I fall?

You hit the ground, dummy! A few bumps and bruises are a small price to pay for fame and fortune.
We don't expect you to succeed on your first attempt, so you can try as many times as you like.

Appearances

Patch history

  • 2.8.5 (August 31, 2023)
    • Introduction.