Men of Low Moral Fiber
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The Men of Low Moral Fiber are a group of three NPCs featured in Sea of Thieves: The Legend of Monkey Island.
Dialogue
The Journey to Mêlée Island
Before Visiting the Scumm Bar
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Hey, uh, we're kind of in the middle of something right now. If you're new in town, you should stop by the Scumm Bar and take in the ambience.
Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Ha ha ha ha! Come back later! Ah ha ha ha!!
Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Ssssh! There's this weird-looking rat running around and we're trying to catch it. It might be our ticket to fame and fortune...
After Visiting the Scumm Bar
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
You lost? Then you've come to the right pirates. We know pretty much everything that happens here in Mélée Island.
Where can I get something to eat?
At this time of night? Proably the only place with an open kitchen would be the Scumm Bar - but good luck getting inside
The chef's a real stickler for the rules. If you're not the new assistant cook he's hired, you aren't getting anywhere near the cooking pot.
You could try begging a Gunpowder Gummy off one of the Governor's guards, but it might be the last thing you ever chew...-
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Where's best to admire the view?
Oh, up by the Island Lookout, no question. There's a pathway that leads to him just outside of the village.
If the wheater weren't so strange lately you'd be able to see all the way across the island.
Not much reason to head up there, though, unless you are planning to swindle a few Pieces o' Eight out of the Lookout.-
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I'm looking for sunken treasure.
Then you're in luck! A ship full of valuables went down in the harbour here not so long ago.
'Course, even if you could find a way to raise its cargo up out of the water, you'd need the proper tools to crack it open.
Some parts of the town are still being renovated, Who knows? Maybe you can swipe what you need..-
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Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, those poor doggies! Ha ha ha!
You seem a happy sort...
Ha ha, I can't help it. There's just something about these guys that cracks me up! Ha ha ha!
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What was that about dogs?
Ha ha ha h- Well, it's very sad, actually.
The Governor's guard dogs get tormented by the guards, you see. They've lost all the fire in their little bellies.
I bet if they scarfed down a hearty meal, they'd soon be back to their nasty old selves! Ha ha ha!-
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Hey, you're a pirate. Know any dirty tricks?
Ha ha ha ha, of course we do! My favourite is the 'Ol' Top-Up Trick'.
What you do, see, you wait for your shipmate to get distracted, then you pour some grog from your tankard into theirs without them catching you.
They'll be snoring before you know it. That's when you sneak away and leave them to foot the bill! Ha ha ha ha!-
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Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Let me guess, another pirate wannabe looking for easy answers. Well let me tell you something... We LOVE pirate wannabes looking for easy answers!
Is that big clock accurate?
I highly doubt it! The Governor hired a man to wind the mechanism, but most days he falls asleep in the Scumm Bar and forgets.
He's going to lose the Clock Tower Key one of these days, and then... Well, I suppose not much will change around here. It's always grog o'clock!-
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I'm here for some late-night shopping.
A night owl, eh? Well, the General Store's a little ways down the high street, but the shopkeeper charges a pretty penny for his wares.
I may be low on funds...
Well, then, here's a little tip from me to you. Pirates can't help but squirrel away their spare change! It's sort of what you might call one of those 'compulsive reflexes'.
You should check all the crates and barrels you find. You never know shen you'll stumble upon someone else's Pieces o' Eight!-
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You're a suspicious-looking bunch...
Of course we are! Salty old pirates, through and through. But on Mêlée Island that's to be expected. Most folks don't even bat an eyelid at day-to-day skullduggery and the occasional keelhauling.
Now, the really rotten apples, they get taken to the town jail. That old place has seen better days, though. I'm amazed the walls haven't collapsed!
They say the Governor hired someone to fix up the place. Last time we saw him, he was having an argument with the guards. Some kind of pay dispute.
What sort of pay dispute?
They didn't want to. Eventually they dragged him away and there was a ruckus. Lots of screaming and falling and suchlike. The poor sap never even got to pack away his tools...-
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After defeating LeChuck's Guards
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
I don't believe it! The Governor's guards were LeChuck's crew this whole time! Well... Actually, that makes a lot of sense.
Are you hurt?
Pfft, no we're seasoned pirates. We know how to handle a bunch of marauding skeletons! That's why we begged for mercy until they left us alone.
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Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Ha ha ha ha! We almost died! Ha ha ha!
I think I'll be going now...
Happy travels! Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Things are certainly a lot friendlier now that those ghoulish guards are out of the picture. Maybe now we can get back to our circus training...
You want to join the circus?
Aye! One day we're hoping to present our troupe of trained animals. All we need to do is finish their training... start their training... and find some animals. How hard could it be?
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The Quest for Guybrush
Interaction Before speaking with the Pirate Leaders
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Hey, didn't you get to meet with the Legend of Monkey island? You should go and tell the Pirate Leaders in the Scumm Bar.
Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
We want to visit the circus, but we can't find our way through all the fog! Ha ha ha!
Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
I wish we could find another corner to stand around on... That Mojo Shop gives me the creeps!
Interaction after speaking with the Pirate Leaders
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
You lost? Then you've come to the right pirates. We know pretty much everything that happens here in Mélée Island.
How can I improve my sword skills?
It's been a while since he last came into town, but Captain Smirk's been known to take pirate wannabes under his wing and teach them the ways of the blade.
But if you don't have a worthy weapon, he'll laugh you right out of his shack. And believe me, he's not a man you want to be insulted by.
The General Store Might have something suitable for you to train with, but it won't come cheap...-
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Where can I find some opponents to spar with?
Well, you won't find anyone by hanging around here in town. You'll need to head out into the forests of Mélée.
Find yourself a clearing where some pathways cross and wait until you spot some passing pirate who's spoiling for a fight.
I hear some pretty shady characters have been roaming the island of late, so I doubt you'll be waiting too long before a brawl kicks off.-
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Who is the strongest fighter on Mélée Island?
That'd be Governor Guybrush, of course, but nobody around here would be foolish enough to challenge him to a duel.
Other than the Governor, I'd have to say Carla. They don't call her the Sword Master for no reason!
She's pretty reclusive, though. Lives way out in the forest and doesn't care much for visitors. If you find her and she decides you're wasting her time... you may not come back.-
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Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Hey, I remember you! Did you get the Governor's autograph? Ha ha ha!
I'm looking for hidden treasure...
Hey, you're in luck! That guy with the coat over there sells treasure maps! Ha ha ha!
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Are there any dangerous creatures I should know about?
Ha ha ha, not anymore! There used to be a troll guarding the bridge, but the Governor put up a sign and he went away! Ha ha ha!
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Don't say much, do you?
Nope! Ah ha ha ha haa!
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Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Let me guess, another pirate wannabe looking for easy answers. Well let me tell you something... We LOVE pirate wannabes looking for easy answers!
This place is huge! what's the fastest way to get around?
You see those fancy ropes strung all over the place? Those aren't just for decoration. You could say they're the Secret of Mélée Island...
I probably shouldn't tell you this, but a pirate with some specialised equipment could use them to zip around from place to place.
I'd better not say any more. If the Pirate Leaders found out, they'd keelhaul me! I don't know what that involves, but it sounds... unpleasant.-
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Will you keep an eye on my ship?
I wouldn't worry about it. we may be pirates, but nobody's going to commandeer a dinky little ship like that just for the fun of it.
If you decide you want to upgrade to a larger model, you can visit Stan's Previously Owned Vessels over at the Bay of Mélée.
He's the most successful second-hand ship salesman on the island... Though that's probably because he ran everyone else out of business.-
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What makes Mélée Island so famous?
Well, we have the Legend of Monkey Island running the place, obviously, but there are all kinds of landmarks and attractions here too.
Of course, once we've finalized our own act and auditioned at the circus, the number one attraction on Mélée Island... will be the three of us!-
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Approaching them after Freeing Guybrush
After Freeing Guybrush
Left Man of Low Moral Fiber:
I can't believe we thought the Governor was a living legend. Maybe we don't know as much about pirating as we think...
Middle Man of Low Moral Fiber:
Ha ha ha! We were all suckered by a phony pirate legend! Ha ha ha ha! Wait, That's not funny...
Right Man of Low Moral Fiber:
We're so distracted by this Guybrush business, none of us can concentrate on our circus act...
Appearances
Patch history
- 2.8.4 (July 20, 2023)
- Introduced.