Cursed Captain

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Disambig.png This article is about character. For details about his skull as a quest item, see Cursed Captain (quest item).

The Cursed Captain is an NPC skeleton in Sea of Thieves. He appears as a disembodied skull, which serves as a quest item at Sailor's Grave during the A Pirate's Life Tall Tale.

Dialogue

A Pirate's Life

A Pirate's Life (Quest)

The A Pirate's Life Tall Tale features an abundance of dialogue from Cursed Captain.

While freeing Cursed Captain from his cage, players may hear the following scripted dialogue.

Cursed Captain's dialogue upon entering Sailor's Grave

Cursed Captain

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me...
It's been so long since I saw me loot...
What I wouldn't give for a change of scenery...
Ah, it's a foul wind tonight!
Now how did that old song go?
They'll pay fer this! One day...
Oh, the indignity of it all...
How long has it been? Eh, no matter.
Wish I had a nicer cage. Something lined with jewels...

Cursed Captain's dialogue upon noticing a Player

Cursed Captain

Ahoy down there!
Ye paid my warnings no heed
and set foot in Sailor's Grave while ye still draw breath
at the risk of marooning yerself here for all enternity...
Now that be what I call true pirate courage!
Not like the scurvy sea devils who stole me plunder an' jailed me up here.
Me own crew, a bunch of treacherous curs!
Arrr, but this be no way to hold a conversation!
Climb up here and lower me cage. Ill make it worth yer while...

Exploring Sailor's Grave before Cursed Captain's cage has been dropped

Cursed Captain

You're not afraid of heights, I hope! Ye've a fair climb to reach me cage.
If me crew can hang me up here, surely ye can get me down again!
Ye'll do no good down there! Higher! Higher, I say!
Unless ye've learned to fly, ye'll need to find some way up to me cage.
The only way to get me down is fer ye to climb up, an' be quick about it!

Bringing the Captain the Cage Key before dropping the cage

Cursed Captain

You! Yes you, down there!
Is that the key to me cage ye be holdin?
Ah, that's a welcome sight, but but it'll do me no good while I'm stuck up here.
See if ye can't find a way to climb up and set me back on the ground, where I belong!

Cursed Captain's dialogue as you climb through Sailor's Grave

Cursed Captain

Well, it's a start, sure enough... But ye've bearly begun!
I'm strung up by this ol' ship beside me cage,
but ye'll never board her from the ground.
Hold yer course an' see if ye can't make it over to her from where y' are now.
I'll wait...
Watch yer step, now...
I'd hate to see ye take a tumble and leave me stranded up here.
Are ye still there? Did ye drown? Blast it all, I can't see a thing from up here!
Ye'd best not be pullin' me leg, for I've not seen it in years...
They'll be back! Arr, I'm sure of it. Almost certainly... Maybe.
Ah, there ye be!
I thought ye might be lost, or gotten yerself trapped for all eternity!
But I think it's another trapped soul that brought ye here...
Well, you're out of luck!
The Ferry no longer docks at any port in this blighted blister of a town!
Now, that's not a gap ye'll cross less'n ye grow some wings.
But ye mustn't give up! Ye see,
I happens to know of a way to call the Ferryman back to these shores...
That's the way! Ah, I can taste me sweet, sweet freedom...
Well, ye took yer sweet time, but here we are!
Now, ye just need to lower me cage very, very gently. Ye understand?

Cursed Captain's dialogue when a player falls on the way to free him

Cursed Captain

Look out below! Ahh, but ye can climb the stairs an' try again.
An' this time, don't lose yer nerve!
Har, this be fine theatre, but we don't have all day.
Back t' the lift with ye' an try again.
Wait! What're ye playin' at?

Cursed Captain's dialogue when freed from his cage

Cursed Captain

(If rope is burned) Huh? what was that sound?
Aaaauuuuggghhhhh!
Uuugghhh... Me head, it's killin' me...
Aye, it's not really a dignified reunion,
but I do welcome bein' back on the ground...

If key has already been found:

Now, that key is not going to use itself!

If key has yet to be found:

I hoped the fall might bust open these here bars,
but it seems I'll be needing another favour from ye...
If ye can hunt down me mutinous crew and find the key to me cage...
Well, once I'm free, we might just be able to strike a bargain.
Me crew wouldn't let the key out of their sight.
They probably took it along to celebrate their treachery, the roaches!
Find the tavern, and you'll find me freedom...

Exploring Sailor's Grave after dropping the cage without unlocking it

Cursed Captain

Before finding the key:

Linger not, fer there's a key to find, an' me freedom to be gained!
If you want me help, ye'd best get to searching for that key!
Are ye just going to stand there? I can't help ye 'til ye get me out of this cage!
This be a cruel and unusual punishment...
Find that key an' bring my torment to an end!

Bringing the key to the captain:

By Hades' burning beard, ye found the key!
Well now, a deal's a deal. Set me free an' I'll tell ye all that I can.

Key has been found:

It be very simple, ye take the key, ye put it in the lock, ye TURN the key...
I won't say a word 'til I'm out of this cursed cage!
That key's not going to use itself!

After unlocking the cage

Cursed Captain

Unlocking the Cursed Captain's Cage:

That's the way! I'd been fearful that the lock might have rusted after all this time.
Being that I'm unable to provide my own means of locomotion, ye'll have to carry me.
And make sure yer hands are clean. I don't want fingerprints all over me skull.

Before picking up Cursed Captain:

Ye did it, the cage is open? What be the delay?
D'ye expect me to just roll my way across town?
Don't be scared, I don't bite... much.

After picking up Cursed Captain:

Sweet freedom! Ah, it feels good t' to see in more 'n one direction!
All these years I've spent wondering what happened to me town, an' me treasure!
Now, we've a long journey ahead and I've yet to find me sea legs,
so you gets about the walking and I'll take care of the talking!
Let's start by heading for the old lighthouse...
Or p'raps ye'd rather me take ye on the grand tour of my fallen kingdom?
Who knows, there may still be plunder to find...

The Cursed Captain may say a random line at any time while exploring Sailor's Grave:

Cursed Captain

While holding Cursed Captain:

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me...
I had some grand old times in this town, I can tell ye!
The Sea of the Damned's not so bad - if yer already dead...
When you're done seeing the sights, we still need to reach the lighthouse.
Did ye think the Ferry was all there was to this world?
Now how did that old song go...
It's quiet... too quiet... BOO! ah ha ha ha ha!
The glory of this town be mostly of the former sort.
I'd love to give you the grand tour... but it's a lot of legwork.
Here's a riddle for ye: what's holding a skull... and should've been at the lighthouse by now? Take your time.
Can it really be called a lighthouse if it's not giving out light? These are the kind of things ye start to ponder when you are a head in a cage.
A town for pirates, built by pirates! I'm amazed it hasn't fallen to ruin.
Watch yer step here, there's something... unpleasant underfoot.
Ah, it's a foul wind tonight...

While Cursed Captain is on the ground:

Avast! I said AVAST, can anyone hear me?
what's wrong? Don't tell me ye forgot all about me!
If yer hiding, this be a cruel joke to play on a man what can't seek.
Did we get seperated? Well, this is a fine kettle o' splashtails...
Just once, I wish I could be dead on my feet...
I hope me crew don't see me like this...
I'm a captain, not a doorstop!
Even the cockroaches have jumped ship...
This is fine. No really, I like it down here.
Need your hands free eh? I understand.
I must say, the view down here is spectacular.
This floor's a disgrace. Somebody swab the decks!
I think I'm lost! Follow the sound o' me voice!

The Cursed Captain also has scripted dialogue for many locations in Sailor's Grave:

Cursed Captain

Touring the Last Stand Tavern:

This used to be a fine establishment, filled with song an' celebration.
Even the roaches were happy!
Me old crew, Marooned with nothing to do but while away for eternity...

Touring the Gambling Den:

Pirate games be the best o'games, that's what I always say!
ahh, I used to be good at cards. That is, I used to be good at cheating cards.
This be the most rotten, run-down rat trap in our whole filthy pirate town! Almost brings a tear to me sockets!

Witnessing Captain Bones' skull explode:

Ha ha hah! That be Captain Bones for ye!
Old Bonesy never could stomach his own recipes... Not much good at chess, neither.
Now there's an idea. How about we show them how it's done?
Stick me on old Bonesy's shoulders an I'll win the game for us.
Hang it all! It's been so long I forgot about the house rules!
We'll need t' find something of special value, a trinket or similar,
as a buy-in before we can play.

Winning against a Chess Skeleton in the Gambling Den:

Bells and barnacles, is that the best ye can do?
Well then, me Rook goes to Queen's Knight 3!
And that, matey, be check AND mate, which means the contents o' the pot be mine!
A fine, fancy key, an' I'll be bound it leads to treasure.
Sore loser! No matter, he never could play worth spit.
Let's take this key and find the ship it opens!

Touring the Skeleton in the bed:

A man could give himself eye-strain, doin' his bedtime reading in the dark...
Wakey wakey... It's no use; you might say he's dead to the world! Ha ha hah!

Finding one of the Cursed Captain's Journals:

I recognize that book. In fact, I wrote it!
Is that one of me old journals?

Revealing Secret Beacon behind the ship's sails:

Would you look at that... Now we can see all the way to the lighthouse, clear as day.


Upon progressing the part of story to find the Secret of Sailor's Grave, the Cursed Captain will say the following scripted dialogue:

Cursed Captain

Lighting Secret Beacon:

So that's the answer! All those years spent in me cage an' pondering how to open that gate,
an' ye break in like a born burglar!
Ah, let's get over there an' see what plunder's t' be had!

Finding the Headless Monkey Shipwreck:

Well I'll be! Who knew something like this was hidden away back here fer all these years?
Ye've a nose for treasure that reminds me o'... well, me!

Upon progressing the story, the Cursed Captain will say the following scripted dialogue:

Cursed Captain

Approaching the lighthouse:

I may not be the pirate I once was,
but I can still put the fear into them what knows me...
I KNOW YE CAN HEAR ME, YE COWARDLY CURS!
Drop what yer doin' and get this bridge in order, we've a ferry to catch!

Ascending the lighthouse:

I s'pose I should tell ye me story...
When we sailed into the Sea of The Damned it were a happy accident,
fer we were fleeing our enemies with a hold packed full of their plunder!
By an' by, me crew starts t' grumble about returning to the living world,
but I'd have sooner stayed with me loot for all eternity...
rather than risk it out on the waves.

Reaching the top:

This ol' place brings back memories of the night I snuffed out the flame,
aye, an' the lighthouse-keeper too!
Had to be sure the Ferryman wouldn't come an' part me from me loot.
Now, I'm not what you'd call 'knowledgeable' about contraptions and whatnot,
but if I can borrow a body, I might be able to help. See if ye can't set me down on that headless heap of bones over there...

Upon placing him on the keeper:

Ahh, a new body at last.
Not as handsome as me old one, but they say beggars can't be choosers.
There! It's just like sailing a Sloop, ye never forget how...
Now, let's see if we can't find some clue as to set this place ablaze once more...
First, see if you can't light the brazier with that fancy flame o' yours.
Course, lighting up the town is all well and good,
but ye'll need to point yer flame out to sea if we're to call the Ferry...

After lighting the brazier:

Aye, that's the way! Though I think it looked better in the dark...
Now to get the Ferryman's attention.

After calling the Ferry:

There, the lighthouse is good as new an' the mists are clearing.
Let me try and get a better view...
I see sails on the horizon...
Well, there she be.
The Ferry of the Damned, though ye'll find no welcome passage on her decks.
Those hooded fellas are what you might call 'in charge' around here,
an' they won't suffer the living to board her.
The only way ye'll sail aboard that ship is to stow away...
I wonder if their little secrets still be stowed around here?
The key to me cabin, after all these years!
The keeper took it when he ratted me out t' the others and they set upon me.
Me ship'll be a sight for sore sockets, sure enough!
But this mouldy old body won't last five minutes out there,
so I'll need ye to be me transport once again, at least 'til we reach me ship.
Take me to the ship with the red sails and I'll see ye safely aboard that Ferry!

After reaching the Golden Hare:

There she be!
This next bit needs a fine touch... Set me down atop that there skeleton.

After placing Cursed Captain on the skeleton:

There's a secret nearby, I can smell it on the wind! Ptooie!
There she be... me Golden Hare, the fastest ship on the Seas.
By my reckoning, an' no-one ever dared tell me different!
A piece of advice - always have a secret way back onto yer own ship...
To me cabin!

Reuniting Cursed Captain with his body:

Hmph. Sure I used to be taller 'n this.
This key'll let you trough the side door o' me cabin,
for here is where we be parting ways.
There's a rowboat over yonder that'll carry ye onto the Ferry, quite as a church mouse.
But I wonder... Do ye really know what's waiting for you below her decks?
Not all treasure is silver and gold...
Ne crew are free and me conscience is clear,
but I've still plenty o' thinking to do. Perhaps one day, we'll meet again...
Now take the key and be off with ye, before ye find yerself trapped here for good!
Ye've made an old sea dog happy today. This key's the least I can do.

Opening the side door:

Watch where ye step! The treasure what cursed me may still be lying about...

Captains of the Damned

The Captains of the Damned Tall Tale features small dialogues from the Cursed Captain.

Cursed Captain

The living may not enter this hallowed haven of the honoured dead. Begone!
I said 'begone', ye scurvy... Wait, I remember ye now!
It's me, yer old shipmate from the lighthouse!
Many a month since I've set sockets on ye, matey... For me, I mean! Time flows differently here.
Oh, I've had some grand adventures since ye set me free, but now I guard this here threshold.
Normally flesh 'n' blood types be forbidden, but I reckon I owe you a debt.
In ye go, but try'n keep out of trouble!

Cursed Captain

Leavin' so soon mateys? Ye've a fair wind!
I spy a way back to port out there on the waves.
Be swift, now!

The Legend of Monkey Island

The Journey to Mêlée Island

Upon entering the back dining room of the Scumm Bar for the first time:

MURRAY:

Is that fresh meat I spy? Tremble, mortal, before the mighty Skulls of Scumm!

CURSED CAPTAIN:

It's been longer'n a rat's tail since I last set me sockets on a would-be pirate.

CURSED CAPTAIN:

Though I could swear we've crossed paths before... But never mind all that!

CURSED CAPTAIN:

You'll be here to undertake the Three Trials, I'll wager!

FIRST PIRATE LEADER:

The Three Trials! Hah ha ha hah!

THIRD PIRATE LEADER:

Ah, that does take me back! "I want to be a mighty pirate. Where do I collect my hat?"

SECOND PIRATE LEADER:

Well, if you're here to prove your worth to us, too bad! We're no longer in charge around here.

CURSED CAPTAIN:

Aye, and what would be the point? There's not a pirate wannabe alive who could hold a candle to the Legend of Monkey Island!

MURRAY:

No, please, not the speech again...

FIRST PIRATE LEADER:

The mightiest pirate to ever weigh anchor...

SECOND PIRATE LEADER:

Scourge of the Caribbean! Terror of the Tri-lsland territories! Master of a thousand insults!

THIRD PIRATE LEADER:

A man who can hold his breath for sixty minutes!

PIRATE LEADERS:

GOVERNOR GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD!

SECOND PIRATE LEADER:

Ahh, all that toasting of the Governor's made me thirsty.

FIRST PIRATE LEADER:

Time for some more grog!

PIRATE LEADERS:

GROG! GROG! GROG! GROG!

Talking to the Skulls of Scumm:

Dialogue icon.png

CURSED CAPTAIN: What business d'you have with us, now? Speak up, an' be quick about it!

 
Who are you pair, exactly?

MURRAY: I AM MURRAY, THE DEMONIC TALKING SKULL! All pirates hear my name and tremble!
CURSED CAPTAIN: Pah, pay no attention to that blowhard. He left his maraudin' days behind along with his body.
MURRAY: At least I can remember my own name! Not like some other skulls I could mention.
MURRAY: And one day I shall return to the waves to unleash a new reign of CHAOS!
CURSED CAPTAIN: Suuure you will. But fer now, we provide what you might call the in-house entertainment.
What kind of entertainment?
CURSED CAPTAIN: Tellin' jokes, hurling vile insults at pirate wannabes and enthrallin' folks with tales of skulduggery and misdeeds!
MURRAY: I'm just here for the insults. You stink, ugly! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
CURSED CAPTAIN: We're still workshopping some of our material...

Do you enjoy being used as decoration?

MURRAY: I am no mere decoration! We are the esteemed Skulls of Scumm, stars of the disreputable tavern on Mélée Island!
CURSED CAPTAIN: Aye, this be a place so foul, even the roaches have to hold their breath! The floorboards are rotten, the tankards are rusty...
MURRAY: And half the customers will run you through just for the fun of it. What's not to enjoy?
CURSED CAPTAIN: In all my centuries, rve never found a better place t' hang my head! (Sniffle) 'Scuse me, I've got something in me eye-hole...
MURRAY: Don't you dare start blubbering! You can be so embarrassing sometimes...

I'm not just a pirate wannabe!

CURSED CAPTAIN: Well, maybe that holds true somewhere like the Sea of Thieves, but pirates in these parts hold themselves to a different standard.
CURSED CAPTAIN: Time was, you earn the approval of the Pirate Leaders here by completing their Three Trials.
CURSED CAPTAIN: But that was then and this is now! The only way they'll respect is if the Governor himself declares you t' be a worthy pirate.
MURRAY: Hahah, good luck with that! Threepwcud's not set foot out of that mansion for almost a year. His guards keep things running smoothly.
A year... Are you sure he's okay?
CURSED CAPTAIN: Of course! What could happen to the Legend of Monkey Island? If you ask me, he and his missus are off on some grand adventure!
MURRAY: And if you ask ME, Threepwood's gotten himself locked in a closet somewhere. And good riddance!
CURSED CAPTAIN: Just ignore him. If anyone knows how t' meet the Governor, it'll be that set of salty sea dogs over yonder. If you've yet t' do so, you should go and say hello...

This whole town seems obsessed with the Governor.

CURSED CAPTAIN: Aye, that they be! They've got their own Pirate Lord nowadays, and his name is Governor Guybrush!
MURRAY: GRRR! I told you not to use his name! It gives me a toothache.
Okay, maybe not the WHOLE town.
CURSED CAPTAIN: You'll have t' forgive Murray. He and the Governor had a falling-out a while back; something t' do with a missing arm...
MURRAY: MISSING? It was an act of theft and wanton dismemberment, and one day I shall exact my demonic vengeance!
You want revenge on Guy-- the Governor?
MURRAY: Of course! These gullible fools may think of him as a Legend, but I am not deceived. I have spent years plotting my retribution!
MURRAY: However, the customers and I have formed an eternal bond! They will never let me leave — not unless someone can provide a replacement...

After trading the Cute Monkey Toy with Spiffy's Femur Bone:

Cursed Captain:

Look behind ye! A three-headed monkey!

Second Pirate Leader:

Don't be ridiculous.

Third Pirate Leader:

You must think we were born yesterday!

First Pirate Leader:

You'll need to do better than that to fool us, bone-brain!

Pirate Leaders:

Ha ha ha ha hah!

After taking Murray by replacing him with Captain Coco:

Dialogue icon.png

CURSED CAPTAIN: Thanks fer takin' Murray on your travels. Now I can get top billing for once!

 
Where exactly are we?

CURSED CAPTAIN: Just between ye and me, we're still squarely in the Sea of the Damned. The strangest tides I've ever sailed!
CURSED CAPTAIN: But places from the past have a way of... insinuating themselves upon the horizon, should ye linger here long enough.
CURSED CAPTAIN: O' course, there'll be no convincing this motley lot that they're anywhere other than the genuine Mêlée Island.
CURSED CAPTAIN: That means no fancy talk of Skeleton Lords or Shores of Gold will impress them. They'll take you for a liar or a fool - or both!
CURSED CAPTAIN: Now leave me be. I'm reworking tonight's act t' be a solo performance...

After defeating LeChuck's Guards:

Dialogue icon.png

CURSED CAPTAIN: Thanks fer takin' Murray on your travels. Now I can get top billing for once!

 
LeChuck is here, and he's real!

CURSED CAPTAIN: Is he now? Well that's a rum turn-up... I'd wager he's been sneakin' around the Sea of Thieves and stirrin' up trouble there, too.
CURSED CAPTAIN: Ye'd best be on your way to the Mojo Shop. There's someone there who'll be able to send ye safely on your way home.
CURSED CAPTAIN: And if ye should run into Captain Kate, tell her she still owes me five doubloons!

The Quest for Guybrush

Before completing Corina's plan:

Dialogue icon.png

Swill out my sockets, it's good to see you again! I don't suppose you've seen Murray on yer travels?

 
Your solo career's not working out?

I've been trying my hardest to insult every last filthy, devious, amoral crook who stops by, but it's just not the same by myself.
Murray always had what you might call a natural talent for verbal abuse. I hear he's taking up Insult Coaching as a full-time job!
Teaching people insults?
It's not as daft as it sounds! A really hurtful remark can be just the thing to throw an opponent off-balance and give you a chance to strike!
I'd offer to teach you the basics, but my sword's stuck in my belt, which is holding up my pantaloons, which are keeping my legs nice and warm... wherever they are.

While speaking with the Pirate Leaders about the Three Legendary Trials:

First Pirate Leader

The Governor granted you an audience? Well, this changes matters.

Second Pirate Leader

The Legend of Monkey Island doesn't waste his time with pirate wannabes...

Third Pirate Leader

That may be so, but nobody's gone through the Trials in an age and lived to tell the tale!

First Pirate Leader

Then it'll be their funeral, and all the more grog for us.

First Pirate Leader

VERY WELL! With the Governor's blessing, we shall begin...

Pirate Leaders

THE THREE LEGENDARY TRIALS!

Second Pirate Leader

There are three devilishly difficult trials every pirate must undertake, inspired by the Legend of Monkey Island.

First Pirate Leader

You must master the sword...

Second Pirate Leader

And the art of thievery...

Third Pirate Leader

And... the QUEST!

Second Pirate Leader

The what?

Third Pirate Leader

Treasure hunting, ya sea urchin! We've been doing this for 33 years and you're still as clueless as ever.

Second Pirate Leader

I have a very short attention span!

First Pirate Leader

You must prove yourself in each of these three areas: swordplay, thievery, and, er, treasure-huntery, and gather proof that you've done it.

Second Pirate Leader

We've prepared some documentation to help you on your way, and you can always ask us for advice.

Third Pirate Leader

It's the least we can do for making the Legendary Trials so confoundingly impossible.

Second Pirate Leader

Now, your first task will be clearing away this accursed fog. A fellow can't see past his own beard out there.

Cursed Captain

Well now, if it's cursed fog you want clearing away, I happen to have considerable experience in that regard! There was a time at Sailor's Grave where—

First Pirate Leader

Not the lighthouse story again. Get to the point!

Cursed Captain

Hmph! Very well. Ye must return to the Mojo Shop and lay your hands on a mystical brew to dispel that infernal mist.

Second Pirate Leader

Is that all?!

Third Pirate Leader

We could have told them that, you dim-witted decoration!

Cursed Captain

Everyone's a critic...

(Quest Book Updated)

After completing Corina's plan:

Dialogue icon.png

I don't know what you did, but people are starting to remember the truth about the so-called Legend of Monkey Island. Things'll be back to normal soon enough!

 

Appearances

Gallery

Patch history

  • 2.2.0 (June 22, 2021)
    • Introduced.