Stan S. Stanman

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Stan S. Stanman
Details
Type	NPC
Location	Mêlée Island
Voice actor	Gavin Hammon
Related	Sea of Thieves: The Legend of Monkey Island

So tell me, how can I make you the deal of a lifetime? A big ship? A luxury ship? A ship with just a splash of je ne sais quoi?

— Stan, The Quest for Guybrush

Stan S. Stanman is an NPC featured in Sea of Thieves: The Legend of Monkey Island. He originates from the Monkey Island series of video games.

Lore

The Quest for Guybrush

Stan is the current holder of the Idol o' Many Hands, keeping it under locks at the office of his used ship concession, Stan's Previously Owned Vessels. As part of the Thievery Trial of the Three Legendary Trials, the pirates must steal this relic from him. Feigning interest for the cheapest ship avaiable as a way to distract Stan, the latter regretably informs the pirates that the ship in question has already been purchased, awaiting for its new owner to take possession of it. Refusing attempts of counterbids as he fears pulling out of a transaction will ruin his reputation, he however informs the pirates that if they can get the Bill of Sale from the owner he will gladly transfer ownership to them.

After acquiring the Bill of sale, Stan congratulates the pirates on their brand new ship, eagerly proposing them with various accessories of all kinds. Upon seeing a large closet, the pirates inquire if it is large enough to play hide and seek, tricking Stan into climbing inside as part of a demonstration. Once inside, the Pirates lock the closet and pushes it into the sea, leaving them free reign to enter his office and steal the idol.

The Lair of LeChuck

Stan makes a brief appearance at the end of the Tall Tale, floating into the harbor still trapped in his closet. Hearing Guybrush speak, he proposes him a new ship and even a free valet service if Guybrush can free him.

Dialogue

The Quest for Guybrush

When you first meet him at Stan's Previously Owned Vessels:

Stan

Howdy! The name's Stan, like on the sign, and my day just got ten times brighter now that you're here.
You don't need to say anything. I can tell you've heard all about the amazing treasure in my possession!
Well, just between us, the rumours are true... Each and every one of the beautiful boats you see here is a true treasure. That's the Stan S. Stanman guarantee!
So tell me, how can I make you the deal of a lifetime? A big ship? A luxury ship? A ship with just a splash of je ne sais quoi?
Trust me, I want you to leave here happy. Why not start by taking a look around. If you have any questions, I'll be right with you.

Walking about Stan's Previously Owned Vessels:

Asking him about the Replica Idol:

Stan

Charming replica, isn't it? Almost as good as the genuine article. Draws in customers like you wouldn't believe, so I'm afraid it's not for sale.
And before you ask, the real deal's under lock and key in my office.

Attempting to steal Stan's Office Key:

Stan

Ooo, sorry. Can't let you into the office. Company policy.

Asking Stan about each ship:

Stan

Grog Rowboat:

Ah, this is one of our compact models, but what she lacks in capacity she makes up for in convenience!
Her star feature is the drink dispenser attached to the back. Why sail all the way to a tavern just to fill your tankard when you can have grog on demand?
Unfortunately, I can't sell this one right away - some lout jammed a doubloon in the coin slot and we're waiting on replacement parts. Such a pity...

The Vociferous Carmichael:

You can simply smell the history rolling off of this beauty. Unfortunately, her logbook was heavily water-damaged, so she's as mysterious as she's lovely.
I bought her at a discount because none of her cannons are operational, but that makes her perfect for a pleasure cruise!

The Black Pearl:

Magnificent, ain't she? This is one of the most notorious and fearsome ships across the whole Caribbean. And definitely NOT an unlicensed copy!
I know what you're thinking. How'd Stan get a hold of a beauty like this? Well, I'm afraid a good entrepreneur never reveals trade secrets.
What matters is that she's the fastest ship on the waves and guaranteed one hundred percent free from cursed animals! Though I gotta say, she doesn't come cheap...

The Headless Monkey:

You have a keen eye, friend! That's the Headless Monkey, as featured in 'Great Shipwrecks of Our Century', a very prestigious catalogue of naval calamity!
According to the logbook she as sunk, salvaged, restored, crewed, sailed, scuttled again and now she exist as some kind of... weird ghost galleon.
I don't know how or why - I just know that it makes her a truly special ship. Lightweight, nimble, slightly transparent... She's got it all!

After every ship is checked:

When you've made a decision, I'll be here.

(Walks back to his office)

Interacting with Stan after checking out all the ships:

I get it. Buying a ship is a big decision. Take all the time you need.

 
Some of these ships are from the Sea of Thieves!

Well, that's why the sign says 'Stan's Previously Owned Vessels', friend. I buy boats from anyone who's looking to sell, no questions asked!
Unfortunately I can't take on any new stock until I've cleared out some space here at the jetty. Maybe then we can arrange a part-exchange?
You'd give me gold for my ship?
Gold? No, no. Pieces o' Eight are the accepted currency on Mêlée Island. But like I said, I'm not looking for trade-ins while I have so many quality vessels to sell.
But hey, that shouldn't stop you from browsing our selection. What kind of self-respecting seafarer could say no to ships of this calibre?

Do you get a lot of customers?

You bet! Ever since the Legend of Monkey Island arrived, crews have come far and wide. Everyone stops by once they catch word of our amazing deals.
I'd take a vacation, but I just couldn't bear to walk away from this place and break the hearts of so many pirates dreaming of their next ship...
Oh hey, that reminds me, how's your shopping spree going? Anything caught your eye?
I haven't made my mind up yet.
Well, be sure to let your old buddy Stan know when you have! I'd love to tell the boss I was able to help you walk away happy.
Boss? But the sign says...
Oh, that? That's just a formality. Believe me, I'd change it if I could, but you know how things are. Now, let's get back to your purchase...

What are your terms and conditions?

It's like I always say - if you don't keep my ships in good condition, we'll be parting on bad terms!
Just kidding. That's a little brand and marketing joke right there.
Very little.
Seriously, don't worry about the paperwork - let ME worry about it! all of our ships come packed with pamphlets full of boring stuff you'll never read.
What about refunds?
Tell you what. If you're sailing a ship from Stan's Previously Owned Vessels, and it sinks, and everyone on board is killed... we'll talk.

I've seen all of your ships. What's the cheapest?

All right, let's talk financing! As you've seen, we offer a wide range of options ranging from premium to super-deluxe-premium quality.
Our top of the line model is the Black Pearl, which is competitively priced at twenty thousand Pieces o' Eight.
That's daylight robbery!
That's economics, my friend. You have to spend money to make money! But if you don't have that level of disposable income, well...
An example of our budget models would be the Headless Monkey. absolutely in your price range, and the perfect ship for your needs! That's why...
That's why... what?
That's why it breaks my heart to inform you that she's already been sold. I'm just waiting on her new owner to collect her. Sorry, but that's life!
Perhaps we can discuss some of the other options...

Asking Stan about who bought the Headless Monkey: (This replaces the fourth dialogue option after asking Stan about which ship is the cheapest.)

I get it. Buying a ship is a big decision. Take all the time you need.

 
Who purchased the Headless Monkey?

Sorry, but I couldn't possibly divulge that kind of confidential client information.
WHO?!
All right, all right, take it easy! If you must know, it was purchased by a guy named Meathook. He runs a little place over on Hook Island.
He told me that some unfortunate circumstances require him to set sail and pronto, so I sold him the ship to do it.
What if I outbid him?
Listen, I've got a reputation to think of. If I pulled out on a completed transaction, Stan's Previously Owned Vessels would be a laughing stock!
Tell you what. If you deal with Meathook directly and he gives you his Bill of Sale, I'll sign the Headless Monkey over to you. Everybody wins!
If you hurry, you can probably still catch Meathook before he leaves. If not, hey, I've got plenty of more ships for sale!

After obtaining the Bill of Sale:

If you hurry, you can probably still catch Meathook before he leaves. If not, hey, I've got plenty of more ships for sale!

 
I have the Headless Monkey's Bill of Sale.

(Stan walks to the Obsidian Ship parts display and voiceover starts)

Stan

Well, aren't you the shrewd negotiator! Congratulations - and now that you have a ship, it's time to talk about all the extra features you'll be needing.

Inquiring about the Obsidian Cannons, Wheel, Capstan, and the Captain's Wardrobe:

We've been getting some great deals in stock!

 
I can always use more firepower...

(Stan walks to the Obsidian Cannons display and voiceover starts)

Stan

Ooh, now, I really shouldn't have left these on display. They're actually reserved for a very important client who's one of my most loyal customers.
But you know what? I really feel like we've bonded today. There's a genuine connection forming between us.
That's why I couldn't bear to see you go into battle without these cannons. I just don't know how I'd live with myself! If you want them, they're yours.
Or did you have a different purchase in mind...?

These are bargains from ANY angle.

 
That's a very shiny wheel...

(Stan walks to the Obsidian Wheel display and voiceover starts)

Stan

You know, nothing screams 'pirate' like standing at the helm of your ship, gripping the wheel tightly as you steer this way and that.
But tell me? Have you thought what would happen if that wheel suddenly exploded, skewering you with a million deadly shards? I've seen it happen!
That's why I always keep at least one of these in stock. You're not just buying a new wheel, you're buying peace of mind. You can't put a price on that.
Now, has anything else caught your eye?

One of these beauties caught your interest?

 
What about that capstan... Stan?

(Stan walks to the Obsidian Capstan display and voiceover starts)

Stan

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Stan, my ship already HAS a capstan". But you know what she doesn't have?
She doesn't have a bona fide obsidian capstan with improved ratcheting, easy-glide rotational action and custom grip intensifiers, of course!
You've heard the saying "weigh anchor"? Well this, my friend, is the ONLY way to anchor.
What else can I show you today?

What else can I show you?

 
I'm a fan of high-quality furnishings...

(Stan walks to the Captain's Wardrobe and voiceover starts)

Stan

Now this is an item for the discerning ship captain. Why cram all of your outfits in a mouldy old clothing chest when you could store them in style?

Asking if it's possible to play hide and seek in the wardrobe:

That's solid wood from a genuine tree, an unpickable lock and key mechanism, and just look how spacious it is!

 

• Is it big enough to play hide and seek?
• Is that wardrobe comfy as you said?

Uhh... Sure! Absolutely it is. Allow me to offer a demonstration...

(Dialogue closes and Stan enters the wardrobe.)

Stan

There you see? Plenty of room to hide. And I'm waving my arms around, too.
In fact, now that you think about it, I'd say you could fit an entire crew in here.
Maybe add a little table, some seating. Really carve yourself out some personal space aboard ship.
It can be so important to take five minutes of 'you' time, you know?
It's so warm and cosy, I almost don't want to leave.
But if I stay in here, who's going to sell you this cupboard?

(Stan Exits the Captain's Wardrobe if it is not locked.)

Demonstration Complete. Now, what else can I tempt you with today?

If the Captain's Wardrobe is Locked

Uh-oh. Looks like we've run into a little technical issue. Nothing I can't handle, just give me a second...

Knocking on the wardrobe with Stan locked inside:

Stan

• Um... Hello?
• You'll have to make an appointment!
• Uh... Sorry - occupado!
• What is going on out there?
• Welcome to Stan's Previously Owned Vessels! I'll be right out... I hope.
• I'm a little busy right now, call back later!

Sending Stan on a voyage in the wardrobe:

Stan

What was that loud splashing sound? Why can I smell saltwater? And why do I feel seasick?
Hey, this thing actually makes for a pretty good ship. There may just be a market for these...

Cosmetics

• Stan Costume Set - Stan's unique outfit is featured in a set of costumes available to purchase from the Pirate Emporium.
  • Stan Costume (Hairstyle and hat)
  • Stan Costume (No hairstyle or hat)

Appearances

• The Quest for Guybrush
• The Lair of LeChuck

Trivia

• The static pattern on Stan's coat is a recurrent gag in the Monkey Island series. When the first game was developed, graphical limitations at the time prevented the developers from creating a ply pattern that followed Stan's movements and thus simply created a flat texture. This eventually became a running gag and was replicated in every installment featuring Stan since, including in the first 3D title of the series where a rigged texture would've been possible.

Patch history

• 2.8.5 (August 31, 2023)
  • Introduced.